The InterWeb

One of my biggest fears is being forgotten.  I mean, it’s happened all my life.  My biological mother forgot that she had a responsibility (my sister and I) and decided to take off with a fuck buddy.  My family has forgotten I exist.  I know this because every time I try to talk to them or something, they never, ever, answer back.  And then they wonder why I won’t talk to them.

Right now, I have three really good friends whom I can tell them anything and they won’t judge me: Briana, Stuart, and a dude name Caveman.  I’m pretty sure that Nate, Briana’s man, would listen to me bitch and complain too.

Of course, I have a larger circle of friends; those my sister has introduced me to and those that Stu has had me meet.  They’re fun to hang with, and maybe drink with, but if I were to leave, they would soon forget about me.

And honestly, I have no reason to complain, and I am totally being an attention whore.  I have three, maybe four, good friends, which, compared to some people, makes me popular.  I have a blog, a deviantart account, a tumblr, and a facebook, so whoever is friends/following/watching me will know that I am a person.

But that niggling fear of no self worth, of being forgotten again, won’t leave.  

 

So, I’m going to flood deviantart and facebook with my drawings.  Take that, world.

 

I’m also going to reblog the shit out of tumblr.  Just sayin’.

More Ghosties

I was over at Briana’s yesterday and the day before.  She’s told me a couple memories of the behavior of the two ghosts that inhabit the house.  The first, if I recall correctly, is a little girl at the top of the stairs to go downstairs.  If I remember right, she has long hair and sways.  I won’t tell any stories about them because they’re not mine to tell, but rest assured, there are stories.

The second is a man.  Now, the funny thing about him (and by funny, I mean odd) is that whenever he appears, the little girl disappears.  Anyways, I’ve been told that if he knows you can see him and you don’t acknowledge his existence, then he’ll throw things at you.  And as far as I’m aware, he is only in Briana’s room.

Creepy, to say the least, especially when I spent the night there and couldn’t sleep, and was watching her movies (thank you!) and listening to footsteps upstairs.

I know that before, I said I don’t really believe in them but just in case…but, now I’m not so sure.  Are ghosts real?  If you believe those on television, then yes.  Do I believe in them?  Maybe.  A little, in any case, and enough to know to show them a little respect.

 

Still Feelin’ Off

Yup.  There’s something officially wrong with me.  When your roommate notices that you’re looking weird, it’s time to reevaluate what your routine is.  In my case, it’s lack of sleep.  Maybe.

 

The last time I felt like this, I had to take happy pills.

Weather

Constant thunder and lightning.  Rain.  Cool enough for no A.C.  Today was warm, though.  And Stu got his award, and I got to pet animals and revisit old cars.  Now, I didn’t build those specific ones, but similar models.

Yggie made himself known about two in the morning last night.  I guess he crawled up Stu’s face and wouldn’t stay still.  No biggie.

Not much going on, really.  I feel kinda numb, like there’s insulation between me and the world.  It’s unsettling, in a vague sorta way.  I’m not going to pretend to understand it.

Ghosts

That’s right.  My friend’s house is haunted, or so I’m told.  I’m not sure if I believe in such things, but on the off chance they are real, I mean you no harm, ghosties.

Add that to the fact that I can’t sleep in a new place to save my life, unless I’m drunk, and you have yourself a sleepy Draya.

On the other hand, my boyfriend, Stu, won the second place prize of $250 at a writing contest, which we’re going to pick up today.  I’m glad that he went ahead and entered, and not just for the money.  It was something he obviously enjoys doing, and it seemed like he had fun.

But, new on Yggie.  Yesterday morning I let him out of his aquarium/cage to roam the house, like I always do.  Usually, he hides under the television stand and just takes a nap, and then when he wants to get back to his cage, he’ll either nibble on my leg or stand on the second shelf inside of the t.v. stand.  

I waited all day for him to come out, but he never did.  I know he fell asleep somewhere; rats are naturally nocturnal and at our house, we’re kind of nocturnal as well.  At lease, me and my roommate are.  Stu goes to work in the morning, and then usually the Bean Broker or the Old Main in the afternoon/evening/night.

I’m just hoping that Stu found him when he got home last night.  His owner, Nate, said he lost him in his garage for five days one time.  I’m pretty sure that the doors were open, too.  

I’m going to feel extremely guilty if I lose his rat.  Just sayin’.

And now, I’m going to surf the internet and ignore the “I’m being watched” feeling I’m suddenly getting in this house.  It doesn’t help that I keep replaying the scary incident that Nate and Briana told me about not two weeks ago.

Yay.

My friend left today.  I don’t know him very well, and I probably never will, but still.  He was a friend.

But his rat, Yggi is still around.  So, that’s good.